Magic & Memory Loss Read online

  Magic and Memory Loss

  Grimmer Legacy, Volume 3

  Eleanor Rousseau

  Published by Eleanor Rousseau, 2018.

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  MAGIC AND MEMORY LOSS

  First edition. November 3, 2018.

  Copyright © 2018 Eleanor Rousseau.

  Written by Eleanor Rousseau.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Epilogue

  Keep reading for a preview of Grimmer Legacy 4: Fangs and Forgiveness

  Prologue

  Note from the author

  Book Cover Design

  Prologue

  The view from the top of the cliff was breathtaking. I wondered if in my past life I had lived in a place like this, a place wild and untamed. I sat down on the ground to rest and the large brown wolf at my side sat too, resting his large head on my lap. I scratched the spot behind his ear.

  Off in the distance, I could just make out the city. Maybe I had once lived there. I wasn’t sure I was a city girl, I liked where we were now. The forest surrounding us seemed nearly endless, something about this place just seemed powerful.

  There was a loud snapping of bones, a shifting of flesh that made my own skin crawl. And, a moment later, a man was sitting beside me, a very naked man. “I like this place, it’s nice, serene,” he said, his voice low as if he didn’t want to disrupt the sense of peace.

  It was now his shift was over, though I didn’t say that. “Is it weird that I feel it too? It feels strong.”

  “No, you’re connected to the earth, like I am. Not all Werewolves are, that disconnect is what often leads to wolves going rogue.”

  “I’m not a werewolf,” I pointed out.

  He nodded, his expression serious, a look that may have been more effective if he hadn’t been naked. “No, you’re something else.”

  “But you won't tell me what.”

  “That’s something you need to figure out for yourself. Your connection to the earth is a start.” He buried his fingers in the dirt at our feet and I watched his hand to avoid his gaze.

  “Being all cryptic and wise do it for you?”

  He smirked, despite my snippy tone. “Yeah, I like it.”

  “You’re good at it.”

  “It’s an alpha thing,” he explained.

  I laughed softly, then I glanced down at my own hands. “I’ve lost a lot of things, Murry, who I was and my past, I’d really like to at least find out what I am.”

  “I’m not the one to ask, pup. How is it that you know you’re not human?” he asked curiously.

  “Sometimes I feel it, like electricity just beneath my skin. It’s there but I can’t figure out how to access it. Is this what it feels like to be a shapeshifter?”

  “No, we only feel different when we’re close to shifting and then it’s more like an intense itching sensation.”

  “Like fleas?” I teased.

  He rolled his eyes. “Oh, so funny,” he said sarcastically.

  “I know.” I smirked. “I’m hilarious, maybe that’s something I’m supernaturally good at.”

  “Oh, yeah, maybe you’re secretly a clown.”

  I gasped in mock surprise. “You think?”

  “You’ve got the feet for it.”

  I lightly shoved him with my shoulder and he laughed. “I don’t think clowns are technically supernatural creatures anyway.”

  “They should be, those guys are freaky as hell.”

  “Wuss.”

  “Watch your mouth, or I’ll leave you to find your own way home.”

  I glanced back in the direction we’d come from. By this point, I knew parts of the forest pretty well but I hadn't often ventured out this far and there weren’t many pathways. I didn’t like the chances of me finding my way back alone.

  I pushed myself to my feet. “Speaking of, my butt’s getting cold. We should head back before it gets dark.”

  He nodded, looking out at the forest with a sudden gleeful light in his gaze. I liked it when we went out together. He liked to be the strong, serious alpha type, but out in the forest with his friends, he let loose a little.

  “This,” I gestured around us at the forest, “is where you belong but where do I belong, Murray?”

  “Again, only you can answer that.”

  I paused for a moment, weighing how much I wanted to confess to him. Here, in this place, it felt right to unburden myself. Who knew when the chance would come again?

  “I have no answers and it hurts.” I worried my bottom lip. “Memories, they make up who we are, the good and the bad but the first twenty odd years off my life are a total blank. What does that make me?”

  “Think of it as a blank slate, you can be anyone you want to be.”

  “But I don’t know what I want. It’s been a couple years now and I feel like I am no closer to the truth of anything. No one wants me, no one has come looking for me, not even...” I touched the chain around my neck and glanced away, “no one.”

  He rose to his feet. “It’s a big world, pumpkin, maybe they just don’t know where to look.”

  “I’ve made no effort to hide. Clearly, no one misses me.” It was the first time I’d actually voiced my insecurities. I wouldn’t say anything in front of Beth, Murray's mother and the woman who had willingly taken me in after I’d lost my memory. She was a wonderful woman and I didn’t want to upset her by telling her how much it upset me sometimes.

  “Our corner of the globe is very small, there are things out there that you can’t even imagine.”

  “‘There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.’” I turned to him and asked, “Why can I quote Shakespeare?” Though I didn’t expect an answer.

  He smiled a little. “I think something about that quote must have spoken to you. We are more than memories of past events. Think of your favourite colour, what foods you like, the TV you watch. You know who you are, whether or not you chose to see it consciously.”

  A thought occurred to me about why he might be so good at this. “Is this what it’s like for new werewolves?”

  “Some, yes, they often have to relearn who they are. The wolf changes them on a fundamental level. It rocks their world but eventually, they recover... of course, the new superpowers do help.”

  I laughed softly and he wrapped one arm around my shoulders as he began to guide me back down the trail. Leaves were flattened beneath our feet with a satisfying crunch that told me summer was officially over.

  “For Goddesses sake, could you put your junk away?”

  This time he laughed.

  Chapter One

  “What are you hiding?” dema
nded Murray as he opened my bedroom door, without waiting for an invitation or even knocking to give me warning.

  The guy had no boundaries.

  I stood by the full-length mirror, running a comb through my hair. It was too thick to use curling tongs on but I had recently figured a way to put some waves into it with minimum effort and I liked the look.

  “Nothing, you perv,” I said with mock ire as I set down the comb. My room was pretty neat so I didn’t really mind him barging in. My bed covers were a little messed up and a couple pairs of shoes had been left across the floor but most things were tucked away in the wicker chest at the end of the bed.

  He laughed softly. “Breakfast is ready, pumpkin, I left you the scraps,” he told me, jostling me with his shoulder.

  I lightly shoved him in the chest so I could move past, laughing softly as I headed downstairs. Murray’s mother, Beth, sat waiting for me in the kitchen. I smiled at her as I took a seat. She placed a plate piled with eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me.

  “Beth, I’m never going to eat all this,” I told her, a soft reprimand in my voice.

  “You should, you’ve gotten so skinny over the past year,” she told me.

  I grinned. “I’m at a perfectly healthy weight and I feel pretty good about the way I look,” I told her as I started eating. In the years since I had been found wandering around in the woods with no memory of who or where I was, I’d managed to lose those few extra pounds and gained some nice muscle definition. But the excess of food was unsurprising, considering she was used to feeding werewolves.

  “Of course you would, you’re stunning. I just think you could use a little more meat on your bones,” she informed me seriously. Beth was a woman with generous curves and rosy cheeks, she was also gorgeous and looked great for a woman in her early fifties.

  I smiled. “Well, this is wonderful, even if the quantity could use a little work.”

  She beamed at me as she went about cleaning the table. “You’re too sweet, do you have work today?” she asked.

  “I do, which reminds me, I’m running late.” I inhaled a few more bites before rising and leaning over to kiss her cheek. “Thank you, and tell that boy of yours he can have my scraps.”

  The sound of her laughter followed me out of the kitchen as I grabbed my bag and hurried out. I picked up the old bike that was leaning against the front of the house and climbed on, cycling down the road, away from the small farmhouse.

  Crisp morning air caressed my face and I leaned into the breeze as I made my way down the dirt track which led to Beth’s old farmhouse. Summer was coming to an end and soon I’d have to bundle up against the cold.

  After only a few minutes, I found myself in the small towns of Arcton. It had the typical small-town vibe, everyone seemed to know everyone and everything was in walking distance. As I reached main street, I caught sight of the postman, whose name I knew, and gave him a brief wave, which he returned with a smile.

  Moments later, I pulled up outside the small bakery, Sweet Sensations. Julie was already opening up when I arrived, having parked the bike out back. Petty thievery wasn’t exactly a problem in Arcton, but I’d locked it up anyway because it was a loaner from Beth.

  As soon as I stepped inside, a bell tinkling slightly overhead, a toddler stumbled over and wrapped her arms around my leg.

  “There’s my girl!” I said in a high pitched voice that I reserved for small children and kittens. I hoisted her up onto my hip, poking at her stomach as I carried her over to the playpen.

  She giggled, squeezing my hand, her soft brown ringlets bouncing around her face.

  “I’m afraid I must leave you here, Abi. That slave driver of a mother wishes to put me to work,” I told her, placing her inside the pen. She giggled again and walked over to the pile of toys in the corner, apparently bored with me already.

  I smiled and walked over the counter, picking up my apron before hanging my bag up on a peg.

  “Good weekend?” asked Julie.

  “Yup, I went for a hike with the boys, it was great,” I told her.

  She chuckled. “Your version of great and mine are very different,” she said, cutting a slice from one of the cakes.

  “Are we doing a taste test?” I teased.

  She rolled her eyes. “You wish. No, I just know who’s going to be here and exactly what they are going to order.”

  “Let’s make a wager then,” I proposed. I loved working at the bakery but it wasn’t exactly the most exciting place to be. I had to take my thrills where I could get them.

  She grinned. “Okay. Today is Monday so first Pam will come and collect for book club then Adam will stop in for coffee and stay as long as possible. Then Vince and his sister will come in with their kids and then Belle and the girls will come in to try and hit on either Adam or Vince,” she gave a thoughtful pause, “probably both.’

  I laughed. “I can’t bet against that, it’s exactly what’s going to happen!”

  She chuckled. “How about if there’s a single deviation you get a piece of cake and if there’s not you buy me a piece of cake?” she suggested.

  I bit my lip but nodded. “Deal. I’ll just go wash up while you get Pam’s order ready.”

  I tied my hair back and washed my hands before coming back out and making myself and Julie some coffee.

  “How was your weekend?” I asked as I placed the coffee in front of her.

  “Good, we spent some time with daddy,” she told me. By ‘daddy’ she meant Abi’s father, who was called Bruce whenever Abi wasn’t around.

  “And are you two getting along?” I asked, glancing at her.

  She sighed. “Yes, we are. Things are... comfortable between us right now. You’re so lucky you don’t have any ex’s hanging around,” she told me.

  I smiled. “To be honest, even if I did I might not know it.”

  She smirked. “I’d take that over constant awkward interactions any day.”

  I laughed softly and the bell on the door rang as Pam walked in. Julie shot me a smug look. I wasn’t too upset, a piece of cake didn’t cost much so I wasn’t too invested in winning. “Morning, Pam, I’ve got your order right here,” said Julie, lifting the cake box onto the counter.

  Pam checked the box before pulling out her purse, she ordered the same thing every time, yet she always checked the box. Julie wrung up the order while I finished my coffee. “Have a good day,” she said as she handed Pam her change.

  “You too,” she replied before heading out the door.

  “So, you and Murray went on a romantic hike together,” she teased.

  “Ew, no, he’s like my brother. Like an annoying older brother,” I said firmly. Murray was great but he was an alpha, through and through, and sometimes he just would not let me have my way.

  She smiled. “Well, then I just don’t understand why you can’t ask one of the nice boys from town out.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not asking anyone out.”

  “You wouldn’t have to, all you’d have to do is smile in Adam’s direction and you’d have him drooling at your feet.”

  I laughed. “I don’t need a man in my life,” I informed her.

  “I know but it would be good for you to settle down with a nice boy,” she told me. I knew that Julie wanted only the best for me but the truth was I wasn’t sure what I wanted.

  I smiled. “I don’t think I’m the settling down type.”

  “Of course, but still, a girl's got needs.” She elbowed my waist and lifted her eyebrow suggestively.

  I gave another laugh. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Julie, there are children around,” I told her, switching on the radio and turning the volume down so it was a pleasant hum.

  She giggled and glanced over as the bell rang again. “I’ll let you get this one,” she winked.

  I sighed softly but turned to face Adam with a smile. “Good morning,” I said politely.

  He smiled. “Good morning, Elsa.”

  For two year
s people had been calling me Elsa, at the suggestion of Julie's eldest child, Mimi, so you think I’d be used to it. But sometimes it still took me off guard, which was strange as I couldn’t remember being called anything else.

  “The usual?” I asked.

  He nodded. “You know it. How have you been?” he asked.

  I smiled and felt his gaze on me as I made his coffee. “Pretty good, you?”

  He offered a small smile, he was a handsome man but there was just something about him, something familiar that I couldn’t put my finger on, and it distracted me. “Great, my company is finally taking off.”

  “That’s great news,” I told him. I didn’t know exactly what his company was or what they did but he often spoke of the people he worked with and he seemed to really enjoy whatever it was they did.

  Julie was right that he was good looking. He always looked well put together but recently he’d been letting his stubble grow out which gave him a roguishly handsome look.

  He nodded. “It just took us a little while to get our roots down in the city.”

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great,” I assured him, offering him the coffee.

  “Thank you.” He accepted it and took it over to his usual spot. For a moment, I let my gaze follow him, before blinking and turning my attention back to the matter at hand.

  Chapter Two

  The bell rang again and April came in, without her brother, Vince. I shot Julie a pointed look. She rolled her eyes and whispered, “He’ll be here,” as she passed, taking our mugs to the sink.

  I chuckled. “April, what can I do for you?” I asked brightly. I liked April, she always seemed happy, if a little worn out. I thought that maybe the two were adopted as she had mocha skin and dark hair, his hair was a similar colour but his skin tone was paler, although at the moment he was rocking a pretty impressive tan.

  “I’ll have a hot chocolate...and I’ll let Vince order for himself and the kids when he gets here,” she said.

  I grinned. “You left him alone with both of them?”

  She nodded. “He’s tougher than he looks,” she assured me.